The Leadership Skill Nobody Talks about: Strategic Distance

October 2, 2025

The Leadership Skill Nobody Talks about: Strategic Distance

Hello Reader

Welcome to Level Up Weekly, where I help emerging leaders think strategically, organize effectively, and execute with clarity—so they can be seen, heard, and valued.

Today at a glance:

The leadership skill nobody talks about: strategic distance”

How relationships can quietly drain your influence

Practical ways to set boundaries without burning bridges

Not every connection builds you. Some quietly break you.

We’re told: “Build your network!”

But nobody talks about the equally important skill: knowing when to create distance in professional relationships.

Early in my career, I learned this lesson the hard way.

I once shared something about office politics with a new colleague, thinking it would help her get onboarded — one of those “don’t tell others but here’s the truth” moments. Later, I found out this information had been spread to others. What I thought was helpful onboarding turned into a lesson about trust.

Later, I had a colleague I considered a close friend. I eventually discovered she’d

been having backdoor discussions with leadership, trying to convince them to shift one of the teams I was managing over to her. I was completely blindsided. Even though I was able to divert this attempt, she never once admitted or acknowledged it.

My instincts had been right all along — I just hadn’t listened to them closely enough.

It taught me that anyone can be blindsided, no matter how experienced they are.

Being thoughtful and mindful about who you trust isn’t just smart —

it’s essential.

The strongest leaders aren’t just great at building relationships.

They’re masters at managing them.

Think of it like this: You wouldn’t give everyone access to your email inbox.

Why give everyone unlimited access to your time, energy, and trust?

Practical Tips: Creating Distance Without Losing Influence

1. Project Focus

↳ Make conversations project-focused, not personal

2. Grateful Redirect

↳ Master the art of the grateful redirect: "𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦. 𝘓𝘦𝘵'𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘤𝘶𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘢𝘭𝘴."

3. Structured Collaboration

↳ Use structure as your ally - schedule specific collaboration times vs. being constantly available

4. Professional Presence

↳ Keep your presence consistent and professional with everyone

5. Strategic Sharing

↳ Share information strategically - not every detail needs to be shared with every person

Remember:
Not every professional relationship needs to be close to be effective.

The most powerful leaders know exactly which relationships to nurture closely and which to manage from a strategic distance.

Today’s reflection:

The goal isn’t to burn bridges.

It’s to build the right ones — at the right distance.

Your time, energy, and trust are finite resources.

Investing them strategically isn’t just smart.

It’s leadership.

Bonus Practice:

Not every professional relationship needs to be close to be effective.

👉 Look at your relationships this week: Which ones should you nurture closely?

👉 Which ones require more distance to protect your leadership presence?

Connect with Me

If this resonated with you and you’re wondering how to empower your voice — I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to message me (janet@janet.kim.)

Feeling like your contributions aren’t fully recognized?

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