January 22, 2026

Welcome to Level Up Weekly, where I help emerging leaders think strategically, organize their work, and execute with clarity—so they can be seen, heard, and valued.

Today at a glance

✔ Confidence often hides years of quiet survival

✔ Privilege and struggle are both layered — including your own

✔ Strong leaders account for differences they never had to overcome

The assumption I carried

I used to think people hesitated for no reason.

Just speak up. Just be confident.

That assumption came from my vantage point — not from truth.

Growing up, if I named something I wanted to pursue and my parents approved, they supported it. Education. Opportunities. Safety nets.

I thought that was normal.

What I didn't see was how different my starting line was.

The part people couldn't see

I wasn’t confident on the inside.

What looked effortless was built on years of quiet fear.

I worried constantly about not being smart enough.
I carried a language barrier into adulthood.

I arrived in the U.S. for 8th grade with zero English.

My parents gave me an English name: Janet.

Every day became an exercise in survival.

↳ Listening for tone instead of meaning
↳ Watching faces for cues
↳ Translating in my head long after the conversation had moved on

Survival teaches you how to adapt.

It also teaches you how to hide.

What perception diverges from reality

By college, that survival had turned into something that looked like confidence.

Someone once told me:
“I used to be intimidated by you.”

We had never even spoken.

That’s when I realized something that still shapes how I lead:

People react to the version of you they can see—
not the version you had to become to stand there.

Years later, in a team exercise at work, we were asked which advantages we’d be willing to give up.

Financial security.
Education.
Language fluency.
Family support.

I watched colleagues make choices that stunned me—people I assumed had it easy, giving up things I couldn’t imagine losing.

Starting lines aren’t equal.
Including my own.

Privilege is layered.
So is struggle.

Some of my ease was invisible to me.
Some of my effort was invisible to others.

What perception diverges from reality

Once you truly see that, leadership changes.

Leadership fails when we assume people had the same runway—
the same confidence, safety nets, or ability to speak without translating first.

Strong leaders don’t flatten differences.
They account for them.

They ask: What am I not seeing from where I stand?

They invest in people who had to work twice as hard for the same outcome.
They remove barriers they never had to climb.

Understanding my starting line didn’t soften my leadership.

It sharpened my judgment.

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