June 19, 2025

Be loyal when no one is watching.

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Welcome to Level Up Weekly, where I leverage 19 years in Stanford tech to help emerging leaders like you manage up, think strategically, organize, and execute—so you’re seen and heard.

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Today at a glance:

​🔹 Why your authentic leadership is revealed in conversations that happen behind closed doors

​🔹 A simple question to help you lead with integrity, not impulse

​🔹 How small moments shape team culture—and your reputation

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We often talk about leadership in terms of presence:

• How do you command a room?
• How do you give direction?
• How do you speak up?

But real leadership? It’s not just how you show up when everyone’s watching.
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It’s how you show up when they’re not.

The Quiet Test of Leadership

Leadership moments happen in the in-between:

• Hallway conversations
• Recap meetings
• Executive check-ins

It’s in those moments when someone’s name comes up, and they’re not there to speak for themselves.

That’s the moment to ask:

• Do I advocate for their contributions?
• Do I shift the tone if things turn unfair?
• Do I make sure their voice still matters?

These moments seem small. But they build—or break—trust.

A Lesson From My Mom

My mom always used to say: “Think twice—three, four times—before you spit those words out. Once they’re out, you can’t take them back.”

I didn’t always appreciate that as a kid.
But in leadership, I’ve seen it play out again and again.

Words don’t disappear.
They ripple.
They land.
They shape how others are seen—and how you are remembered.

One Simple Question

Before I speak about someone who isn’t in the room, I ask myself:

Would I say this to their face? If not—and it’s not a necessary, constructive conversation—I pause. I reframe. Or I don’t say it at all.

It’s not about being perfect.
It’s about being intentional.
It’s about becoming the kind of leader people trust—even in their absence.

The Culture You're Creating
​This isn’t just personal. It shapes team culture.

When you practice this kind of quiet integrity, it:

• Models how to speak about others with care
• Builds psychological safety
• Encourages advocacy
• Reduces gossip
• Earns trust

If you want loyalty from your team, start by showing it to the people who aren’t in the room. That’s where real leadership lives.

What about you?

Have you seen someone model this kind of quiet integrity? Or had a moment when you chose to speak up for someone who wasn’t there? I’d love to hear how this shows up in your world. [Janet@Janet.Kim]

Are You Truly Heard, Seen, and Valued at Work?

​​Feeling like your contributions aren’t fully recognized? This quick self-audit will help you assess where you stand, uncover hidden gaps, and identify the key steps to increase your influence, get noticed, and advance your career.. Answer these 10 questions honestly, and use your insights to take actionable steps toward greater visibility, influence, and recognition.

Take the 10 Question Self-Audit for Leaders

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